Common Divorce Effects on Teens

When parents go through a divorce, it's no surprise that their children suffer through it as well. The drastic change, the loss of a sense of stability, the thought that their family is breaking apart can take a toll on children and teens. Parents take for granted that their older children should be adjusting better to the divorce than younger siblings.

The truth is that teens whose parents go through a divorce often struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. Children with divorced parents often have the uncanny ability to blame themselves for their parents' split, even if they can't explain why. Teens are also often more susceptible to be disillusioned with the hope that their parents will change their minds or maybe someday get back together. This makes it more difficult for them to accept when their fantasy doesn't happen.

Teens divorce effects can vary widely. Here are the most common effect divorce on teens:

1. Anger - Many teens already go through periods of mood swings. Add divorce to the equation and you have a more volatile teenager on your hands. Teens who are having a hard time accepting or dealing with their parents' divorce often become defiant, they act out, lash out in anger at their parents, or engage in dangerous activities.

2. Drop in grades - Some teens lose their interest in studying or find themselves less motivated and more distracted than usual. Some teens have a harder time in school than before, some even lose interest in afterschool activities like sports or clubs that they used to love attending. However, parents shouldn't always assume that when their teens' grades are up, this means that they are adjusting well to the divorce.

3. Overcompensating - Some teens who are battling with guilty feelings think that if they just get their grades up or if they become "better sons/daughters", their parents would stay together. They overcompensate by getting better grades, working harder at home, participating in more afterschool programs and getting more recognition in the process. Teens who believe that their efforts would make their family and home life more desirable to their parents often end up extremely disappointed when their parents push through with the divorce.

4. Substance abuse - Many teens turn to substance abuse to deal with the emotional pain. In fact, many teens who try drugs end up using excessively and overdosing because they're trying to use the drugs to deaden an emotional pain. The same goes for alcohol. Young people tend to drink excessively in order to shut out the emotional pain they are feeling over the divorce of their parents. Sometimes teens hide their substance abuse from their parents, sometimes they don't bother to hide it in the hopes that it would encourage their parents to stay together and stop the damage being done to their teen by their separation.
It's important for parents to realize when they need to seek professional help in cases like this. Sometimes the efforts of well-meaning parents are not enough to help teens deal with the aftermath of divorce. It would help to keep your eyes open for these effects and similar symptoms in order to address the issue the soonest time possible and in the most effective and healthy way.