Thursday, July 28, 2011

Responsible Text Messaging Tips


Texting is the #2 use of cell phones -- after checking the time.

Teens send an average of 3,146 texts per month, and kids ages 9 to 12 send 1,146 (Nielsen, 2010).

75% of 12 to 17 year olds own cell phones and 88% of them use text messaging (Pew, 2010).

64% of parents look at the contents of their child’s cell phone and 62% of parents have taken away their child’s phone as punishment. (Pew, 2010).

43% of teens who take their phones to school say they text in class at least once a day (Pew, 2010).



Texting is becoming the #1 form of communication
If you’ve ever stared in awe at your child’s thumbs moving furiously over her phone’s keyboard, you’ve probably wondered how she does it so quickly, and why it’s her favorite form of communication. Kids text because it lets them feel connected and feel as if they can have a private moment with a friend, no matter where they are or what else they’re doing.

Billions of text messages are sent every year from our kids’ mobile phones. While most kids use messaging responsibly, it’s still a powerful and extremely private communication tool that can be used irresponsibly. With texting, kids can’t see the reaction of the person receiving the message, so their actions can be separated from the consequences. Young people can be cruel, and their judgment and impulse control are not yet fully developed. If a text exchange becomes unpleasant, it can be very hurtful or even dangerous to their well being.


Why understanding texting matters
Texting is totally portable, private, and immediate. Kids can send messages to anyone from anywhere at anytime. In other words, they have no boundaries unless we help them to establish some. Almost no research has been done on the impact of immediate communication on kids’ social development.



But the instant gratification factor of getting immediate responses from friends has to have some affect. Any parent who has been at the dinner table or on a hike with a child only to hear a pocket buzz with an incoming message knows that texts take your kids out of the moment they are in and connect them to distant friends.

Texts can be used to keep friends close, help parents figure out family logistics, and offer a wonderful way to share experiences. But, as with any powerful tool, texting can also be used to bully or humiliate people. An embarrassing or upsetting image or video can quickly be transmitted or uploaded to an online video sharing site like YouTube. Sexting is a form of texting where kids send or receive graphic images or messages. According to a study from CosmoGirl, 22% of teen girls have sent or posted these kinds of images. And, sadly, the use of texting in school cheating is on the rise as answers can be swiftly passed from student to student.

Kids need to know that abusing the privilege of texting has consequences.


Advice for parents
Carefully evaluate whether or not your kids need texting on their cell phones. Just because other kids in their class have it doesn’t mean your child needs it.
If your kids do text, get an unlimited texting plan. Otherwise the charges mount up swiftly.
Make rules around when and where. No texting during meals, during class, on family outings. Oh, and turn the phone OFF at night!
No texting while they should be concentrating on something else. This includes driving –nearly half of teens admit to texting while driving – walking, and having a conversation with someone else. Firm rules about this will ensure their safety as well as their social skills.
Establish consequences for misuse. Cheating, inappropriate messages, sexual communication. These are all no-go’s. Want to make your point? Take your kid’s phone away for a week.
Watch your own behavior. Parents are still models for their kids. If you text your child during class and then turn around and tell that child that he or she can’t do that, you’re sending mixed signals.
If you suspect your kids aren’t texting appropriately, you can always look at their messages. Yes, it feels like snooping, but our first job as parents is to ensure that our kids use powerful technologies safely and responsibly.

-Common Sense Media

Monday, July 11, 2011

Top 10 Radio Airplay (And my summary of the song)

 Music is a very large part of the lives of most teens, and often is a key factor in their self-identification. This is a small view of the current songs on the radio right now. Do you notice a trend here? Never underestimate the power of music to mold and shape your teen. Take the time to understand the themes and messages.
  1. Pitbull - Give Me Everything ...(A song about having sex now because you never know when its your last day)
  2. Adele - Rolling In The Deep... (A broken-heart lost love song)
  3.  Lady Gaga - The Edge of Glory... (Another song about having sex impulsively)
  4. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem.... (Party club song)
  5. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night... (A song about drinking so much that she can not remember what happened last night or who the guy is in her bed. She would do it again however.)
  6. Katy Perry - E.T. ....(This is a song about a guy that all her friends say is bad, but she wants to be his victim)
  7. Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On.... (A song about not giving up and reaching for your dreams)
  8. Black Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough... (A song about how she is addicted to this guy and thinks lust equals love)
  9. Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song.... (The song title says it all)
  10. Jason Derulo - Don't Wanna Go Home..... (A song about drinking and partying even after the club closes down)

Art Bragg
The Unstuck Group

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Nearly Half of U.S. Teens Smoke, Drink Alcohol, or Use Drugs

New Report Calls Teen Substance Abuse America’s No. 1 Public Health Problem
Teen girl smoking 
 
Nearly half of all American high school students smoke, drink alcohol, or use illicit drugs, according to a new report. And one in four who started using these substances before they turned 18 may become addicts. One-quarter of people in the U.S. who began using drugs or alcohol before age 18 meet the criteria for drug or alcohol addiction, compared with one of 25 Americans who started using drugs or alcohol when they were 21 or older, according to the report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University in New York City.

“I was surprised at the prevalence of substance use disorders among young people,” says study author Susan E. Foster, CASA’s vice president and director of policy research and analysis. The new study opens a window of opportunity for providers and parents to intervene and prevent addiction, she says.
“Do everything you can to get young people through their teen years without using drugs or alcohol,” she says. “Every year they don’t use drugs or alcohol reduces their risk of negative consequences, such as addiction.”
According to information cited in the new report:
  • Ten million or 75% of high school students have tried tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, or cocaine; and one in five of them meet the medical criteria for addiction.
  • Of the 6.1 million or 46% of high school students who currently use addictive substances, one in three is addicted to these substances.
  • The most common drug of choice among high school students in the U.S. is alcohol, followed by cigarettes and marijuana.
The findings are based on surveys of 1,000 high school students, 1,000 parents of high school students, and 500 school officers, along with expert interviews, focus groups, a literature review of 2,000 scientific articles, and an analysis of seven data sets.

No. 1 Public Health Problem

“Health care providers need to integrate screening for substance abuse into their practice, and treat and refer patients,” Foster says. This may be easier said than done because there is a dearth of addiction treatment information and options available as well as insurance barriers, she says.
Parents need to know what their teens are up to and who they spend time with, she says.
Modeling good behavior is also important, Foster says. “Make sure they know that it doesn’t take a drink or drug to relax,” she says. And “if you do suspect there is a problem, get help fast because it won’t go away, and will probably exacerbate fast.”

Substance Abuse Not a Rite of Passage

“Teen substance abuse is a huge problem,” says Stephen Grcevich, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Family Center by the fall in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. “The numbers in the new report are very consistent with what we see in context of our practice and surrounding areas.”
But teen substance abuse and addiction are not inevitable, he says. Preventing substance abuse starts with “intentional parenting” at an early age.“You have to have a plan that allows you to be a positive influence on your children at a young age so that when they get to an age where they are exposed to drugs and alcohol, they will know how to say no,” he says. “Kids who do well academically, are involved in religion, and/or are actively engaged in sports are less likely to get involved with these substances,” he says. “We need to look at giving kids something meaningful and important to do.”
The new findings mirror what Harold C. Urschel, MD, an addiction expert in Dallas, sees in practice “without question.” He says that “we know that if you wait to drink alcohol until you are 21, you are 40% less likely to become addicted than if you drink alcohol at age 15,” he says.
From the age of 15 to 22, the adolescent brain is developing, Urschel says. “A complex layer of neural networks is being laid down and brain growth is exponential during these years, so even a little bit of injury from alcohol or drugs is greatly magnified,” he says.
Drinking alcohol or using drugs is not harmless fun or a rite of passage, he says.


By Denise Mann
WebMD Health News

Friday, June 24, 2011

Common Divorce Effects on Teens

When parents go through a divorce, it's no surprise that their children suffer through it as well. The drastic change, the loss of a sense of stability, the thought that their family is breaking apart can take a toll on children and teens. Parents take for granted that their older children should be adjusting better to the divorce than younger siblings.


The truth is that teens whose parents go through a divorce often struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. Children with divorced parents often have the uncanny ability to blame themselves for their parents' split, even if they can't explain why. Teens are also often more susceptible to be disillusioned with the hope that their parents will change their minds or maybe someday get back together. This makes it more difficult for them to accept when their fantasy doesn't happen.

Teens divorce effects can vary widely. Here are the most common effect divorce on teens:

1. Anger - Many teens already go through periods of mood swings. Add divorce to the equation and you have a more volatile teenager on your hands. Teens who are having a hard time accepting or dealing with their parents' divorce often become defiant, they act out, lash out in anger at their parents, or engage in dangerous activities.

2. Drop in grades - Some teens lose their interest in studying or find themselves less motivated and more distracted than usual. Some teens have a harder time in school than before, some even lose interest in afterschool activities like sports or clubs that they used to love attending. However, parents shouldn't always assume that when their teens' grades are up, this means that they are adjusting well to the divorce.

3. Overcompensating - Some teens who are battling with guilty feelings think that if they just get their grades up or if they become "better sons/daughters", their parents would stay together. They overcompensate by getting better grades, working harder at home, participating in more afterschool programs and getting more recognition in the process. Teens who believe that their efforts would make their family and home life more desirable to their parents often end up extremely disappointed when their parents push through with the divorce.

4. Substance abuse - Many teens turn to substance abuse to deal with the emotional pain. In fact, many teens who try drugs end up using excessively and overdosing because they're trying to use the drugs to deaden an emotional pain. The same goes for alcohol. Young people tend to drink excessively in order to shut out the emotional pain they are feeling over the divorce of their parents. Sometimes teens hide their substance abuse from their parents, sometimes they don't bother to hide it in the hopes that it would encourage their parents to stay together and stop the damage being done to their teen by their separation.
It's important for parents to realize when they need to seek professional help in cases like this. Sometimes the efforts of well-meaning parents are not enough to help teens deal with the aftermath of divorce. It would help to keep your eyes open for these effects and similar symptoms in order to address the issue the soonest time possible and in the most effective and healthy way.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Breaking Those Bad Habits.



Let's face it, parents play a major role in their teens' behavior and have the ability to be both loving and firm as they establish guidelines for safe and respectful living. Have you ever heard the saying by Zig Ziglar "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want" I think the same thing can be said about the relationship you want with your teen.   Here are few things parents can do to help teens break their bad habits and help guide the teens into being the person you want them to be.


1. Set clear boundaries.
Establish clear boundaries that cannot be crossed and then stick to them. If you tell your teen that she will be punished if she breaks her curfew, be sure to live up to it.

2. Plug into your teen's life.
Be aware of who your teenager is hanging out with, monitor her progress in school, and notice any changes in her behavior that could be related to drug or alcohol use.

3. Negotiate.
Sit down with your teen and negotiate a set of rules and regulations that are realistic and that you can both live up to. Enlist the help of a third party if necessary.

4. Discuss, don't scream.
Aggressive behavior is easy to tune out. Speak to your teen like he's an adult and he may act like one.

5. Forget "cool."
Your job as a parent is not to be a cool friend, but to set up boundaries in which your teen can comfortably grow.

6. Focus on positive behavior.
Being a troubled teen is not a lifetime sentence. When your teen makes the effort to break a negative pattern of behavior, be sure to acknowledge the change by giving him more freedom and showing him that it is possible to rebuild trust. This positive reinforcement will encourage him to keep up the good work.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

It's 10 o'clock, Do you know where your teens are?

This is a great article about keeping track of your teens during the summer. Some parents do not want to feel like the are "stalking" their teens, but shouldn't we be?


by :Richard Rende Ph.D

As summer approaches, teens will have more free time, less structure in their schedule and, possibly, more social opportunities. While all this sounds fun, the reality is that parents face a challenge in making sure their kids stay safe and out of (serious) trouble. 
Researchers have consistently found three aspects of parenting that are critically important when parenting teens. These include:

Monitoring

This first principle involves more than trying to keep tabs on your kid's whereabouts. Monitoring refers to having in-depth knowledge of:
  • where your teen is;
  • who they are with;
  • what they are doing.
Let's take an example. Suppose a teen tells a mom that she will be "hanging out at the mall with some friends." It can be said that the mom consequently knows where her daughter will be (at the mall), whom she will be with (some friends, and what they will be doing (hanging out).
However, this is not what we mean by monitoring. The daughter could be intending to meet up with her two best friends, getting something to eat in the food court and looking in some of her favorite stores. It could also mean hanging out in a car in a parking lot with some kids she recently met including someone who has a six-pack of beer.
The key to monitoring is having real knowledge about what's really going on in a teen's life. One advantage of modern technology is that teens who have phones can be expected to respond to periodic calls or have designated "check-in" times. In this way, monitoring can happen in real time (and not just before and after a teen leaves the house).

Limit setting

This second principle refers to having rules that set appropriate boundaries for teens that are truly enforced (and have consequences tied to violations of the rules).
Using the example presented above, the mom may have a rule that says "you can't drink" and a related one that says "if other kids are drinking you need to get away from them." These rules are concrete and also acknowledge that while there are things that happen that aren't under the teen's control (it may happen that she and her friends run into other friends, some of whom are drinking), the teen has options about how to respond appropriately.
And it's important that if the rules are broken, some form of contingency is there (if you hang out with kids who drink, you cannot go out for two weeks). The challenge here is to be flexible and realistic and work with your teen to set reasonable rules that allow some freedom along with protection against dangerous behavior and situations.

Communication

Monitoring and limit setting depend on solid communication between a parent and a teen. Although it can be a fine line, you want to stay in control of the boundaries of your teen's behavior while promoting a sense of open dialogue. For example, limit setting doesn't work if a teen is not comfortable enough to tell the parent the truth. One important thing to try to accomplish is to let your teen know that you are monitoring and setting limits to help them enjoy their life without finding themselves in situations that would make them uncomfortable or pose dangers.
Being open and having frank talks about risky behaviors — and their consequences — provides a platform of trust and allows a teen to feel comfortable talking to you about his or her life. Being a strict disciplinarian or a "buddy" does not achieve this.
Your teen will undoubtedly face some tricky situations where emotions are running high. You have to have a real partnership with them so that you both can discuss their social world — and yet have an understanding that you will be monitoring their behavior and setting limits so that they can stay safe and healthy.
Parenting a teen can be a difficult thing. Embracing these three principles may not only help your teen navigate the challenges that arise in their life outside your home, but also help both of you maintain a good and productive relationship through the teen years.
Richard Rende, Ph.D., lives in Dartmouth. He is a developmental psychologist and research professor at the Alpert Medical School of Brown University. His research program focuses on family influences on the development of behavior problems in childhood, adolescence and the transition to adulthood. The opinions expressed in this column are his and his alone. Contact him at richardrendephd@gmail.com.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

New Site for Tweens

We found a new site for tweens. Do your kids want to get into social networking and you’re trying to stave off the facebook route for as long as you can? Here is one option. This site is strictly for tweens. NO grown ups. Here is a snapshot of their strategy. Since I’m a grown up and couldn’t/shoudn’t sign up, I didn’t really get to play in the site, but it includes games, blogs, a place for parents and “loops” based on interests. Let’s face it, our kids want to be social online. Why not give them a safe place to do it! Check it out. 


SOCIAL LOOPING

Everloop gives kids a place to connect, express themselves, and be creative.

Everloop’s innovative platform is designed with four layers of moderation to keep kids under 13 safe – it’s a loop of privacy around their communication online. Your children are free from anonymous intruders, and their personal information is secure and hidden.



parental control-everloop


Parents have control.

Every kids’ Everloop account is associated with a parent, so you can have a “dashboard” view of your kids’ activities. Older children ready for email and chat? Switch it on. Not ready for younger children to form new friendships online? You can block it. (And we keep personal information like addresses and phone numbers impossible to enter, so you never have to worry about that for any of your kids.)



No bullies, no bad language.

We call our moderation partners The Mod Squad. They monitor and respond to inappropriate behavior. Additionally, kids can flag anything on the site that bothers them.

Keep them off Facebook and keep them safe.

Facebook wasn't designed for kids under 13 who may not understand the dangers of revealing too much information.  And they can be exposed to inappropriate content and links. Everloop prevents all that.  When it comes to connecting online, kids have been out of the loop. Now they have their own loop. It’ll satisfy the urge to participate in the connected world. And you can relax.

Teens look to parents more than friends for sexual role models

 

Recent adolescent sexual health study shatters stereotypes

MONTREAL, June 15, 2011 - It might seem like they're too busy playing with their iPhones or texting their friends to notice, but a new Canadian study says more teens are actually listening to their parents when it comes to sex.
Some teens might grimace with embarrassment or run away shouting when approached on the ticklish topic, but nearly half — 45 per cent — of them look to their parents as their sexual role models, according to an online survey released Wednesday by CHU Sainte-Justine, a hospital centre for mothers, adolescents and children at the University of Montreal.
Only 32 per cent of teens, meanwhile, think of their friends as role models, while 15 per cent look to celebrities and 33 per cent have no role model at all. (Respondents could choose more than one answer.)
"Parents probably are shy to discuss sexuality and perhaps enter into that domain because they think they are not in the game — which is not true," study co-author Jean-Yves Frappier said. "Yes, (teens) want to become independent, but what we forget is that they have been living with their parents for years and they are probably still very important.
"We forget Britney Spears and Brad Pitt are only pictures. Parents are the real substance."
The survey asked 1,171 teens across the country where and how they learn about sex, their family dynamic and friendships, and sexual activity.
Those teens who use their friends as role models, regardless of whether they look to their parents, were found to be more sexually active, Frappier said. They were also more likely to engage in at least one form of risky sexual behaviour, such as unprotected sex.
Certainly it's important for teens to talk to their friends about sex, he said, but parents can counter-balance negative influences, such as peer pressure.
If parents are involved, teens communicate more easily about sex, are not as sexually active, and know more about sexually transmitted infections, Frappier said.
The study also found that while 61 per cent of teens are comfortable asking mom about sex, only 28 per cent said they feel at ease broaching the subject with dad.
They may need to brace themselves for dramatic outbursts or squeamish brush-offs, but Frappier said the information parents give is indeed getting through.
"Parents should take a stand to discuss sexual issues with their teenagers. Fathers should get in."
And it doesn't have to be a confrontational and deadpan discussion in the living room. Frappier suggests mentioning issues as they come up in the news or in conversation to ease tension.
Teens should have sex "when they're ready, when they feel respected — not because friends are doing it, or because they think friends are doing it," he said.
"Parents need to step in, and schools also," he added. "They are important even though they feel like they are left out. It's the job of parents to stay on."

The survey involved 1139 mothers of teenagers and 1171 youths between 14 and 17 years of age. The questionnaire touched on topics such as sources of sexual health information, communication about sexual health, family functioning and sexual activities. This study was financed in part by a grant from Merck Frosst Co.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Teen brain scans predict whether a pop song's a chart-topping hit or less than a succes





Monday, June 13, 2011

How much does it cost to raise a child these days?



WASHINGTON | Fri Jun 10, 2011 1:02pm EDT
(Reuters) - American middle-income parents with a child born in 2010 can expect to spend $226,920 over the next 17 years, according to a report released on Friday.


The United States Department of Agriculture's annual "Expenditures on Children by Families" report, in which the figure was published, is used as a guide in setting child-support and foster-care payments.
The latest figure for raising a child is up two percent from 2009, largely because of higher costs in transportation, child care, education, and healthcare, a USDA statement said.

The report also evaluates other household expenditures and child-rearing expenses such as housing, food, and clothing.
For lower-income families, those earning less than $57,600 a year, parents can expect to spend a total of $163,440 through the time the child finishes high school. Families earning over $100,000 are more likely to spend around $377,000.

Housing is consistently the largest expense in raising a child, claiming 31 percent of the total that middle-income families can expect to pay. The next biggest expense is child-care and education, followed by food.

Geographically, the cost to raise a child can differ by as much as $2,500 per year, with the most expensive region being the urban Northeast, and the least expensive being the rural South.
When the USDA first started to publish this report in 1960, middle-income families could expect to pay $185,856 in 2010 dollars.

(Reporting by Wendell Marsh; Editing by Jerry Norton)






http://www.reuters.com/article/2011/06/10/us-child-rearing-cost-idUSTRE7594S220110610

Friday, June 10, 2011

MTV cancels controversial ‘Skins’ after one season


"Skins is real. Skins is true. Skins is life," said the teens in the promo for the MTV series that premiered in January. Well, now Skins is over.
MTV has announced that there will not be another season of the controversial series that followed the lives of a group of teenagers. The sexually explicit nature of the show caused several advertisers like Taco Bell, Wrigley gum and General Motors to pull out of the show, and, according to the The Hollywood Reporter, viewership dropped by half by the second episode.

"Skins is a global television phenomenon that, unfortunately, didn't connect with a U.S. audience as much as we had hoped," an MTV rep said in a statement. "We admire the work that the series' creator Bryan Elsley did in adapting the show for MTV, and appreciate the core audience that embraced it."

The truth is, Skins was a show filled with drug-and-sex-obsessed teens who didn't always have the best intentions -- and it didn't necessarily represent the teen population of today. And, if you ask us, that's a very good thing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/tv-column/post/mtv-cancels-skins-after-one-season/2011/06/10/AGsJ1fOH_blog.html

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Darkness Too Visible

Contemporary fiction for teens is rife with explicit abuse, violence and depravity. Why is this considered a good idea?

By MEGHAN COX GURDONAmy Freeman, a 46-year-old mother of three, stood recently in the young-adult section of her local Barnes & Noble, in Bethesda, Md., feeling thwarted and disheartened.
She had popped into the bookstore to pick up a welcome-home gift for her 13-year-old, who had been away. Hundreds of lurid and dramatic covers stood on the racks before her, and there was, she felt, "nothing, not a thing, that I could imagine giving my daughter. It was all vampires and suicide and self-mutilation, this dark, dark stuff." She left the store empty-handed.

How dark is contemporary fiction for teens? Darker than when you were a child, my dear: So dark that kidnapping and pederasty and incest and brutal beatings are now just part of the run of things in novels directed, broadly speaking, at children from the ages of 12 to 18.
Pathologies that went undescribed in print 40 years ago, that were still only sparingly outlined a generation ago, are now spelled out in stomach-clenching detail. Profanity that would get a song or movie branded with a parental warning is, in young-adult novels, so commonplace that most reviewers do not even remark upon it.
If books show us the world, teen fiction can be like a hall of fun-house mirrors, constantly reflecting back hideously distorted portrayals of what life is. There are of course exceptions, but a careless young reader—or one who seeks out depravity—will find himself surrounded by images not of joy or beauty but of damage, brutality and losses of the most horrendous kinds.
Now, whether you care if adolescents spend their time immersed in ugliness probably depends on your philosophical outlook. Reading about homicide doesn't turn a man into a murderer; reading about cheating on exams won't make a kid break the honor code. But the calculus that many parents make is less crude than that: It has to do with a child's happiness, moral development and tenderness of heart. Entertainment does not merely gratify taste, after all, but creates it.
[yalit] Raul Allen
If you think it matters what is inside a young person's mind, surely it is of consequence what he reads. This is an old dialectic—purity vs. despoliation, virtue vs. smut—but for families with teenagers, it is also everlastingly new. Adolescence is brief; it comes to each of us only once, so whether the debate has raged for eons doesn't, on a personal level, really signify.
As it happens, 40 years ago, no one had to contend with young-adult literature because there was no such thing. There was simply literature, some of it accessible to young readers and some not. As elsewhere in American life, the 1960s changed everything. In 1967, S.E. Hinton published "The Outsiders," a raw and striking novel that dealt directly with class tensions, family dysfunction and violent, disaffected youth. It launched an industry.
Mirroring the tumultuous times, dark topics began surging on to children's bookshelves. A purported diary published anonymously in 1971, "Go Ask Alice," recounts a girl's spiral into drug addiction, rape, prostitution and a fatal overdose. A generation watched Linda Blair playing the lead in the 1975 made-for-TV movie "Sarah T: Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic" and went straight for Robin S. Wagner's original book. The writer Robert Cormier is generally credited with having introduced utter hopelessness to teen narratives. His 1977 novel, "I Am the Cheese," relates the delirium of a traumatized youth who witnessed his parents' murder, and it does not (to say the least) have a happy ending.
Grim though these novels are, they seem positively tame in comparison with what's on shelves now. In Andrew Smith's 2010 novel, "The Marbury Lens," for example, young Jack is drugged, abducted and nearly raped by a male captor. After escaping, he encounters a curious pair of glasses that transport him into an alternate world of almost unimaginable gore and cruelty. Moments after arriving he finds himself facing a wall of horrors, "covered with impaled heads and other dripping, black-rot body parts: hands, hearts, feet, ears, penises. Where the f— was this?" No happy ending to this one, either.
In Jackie Morse Kessler's gruesome but inventive 2011 take on a girl's struggle with self-injury, "Rage," teenage Missy's secret cutting turns nightmarish after she is the victim of a sadistic sexual prank. "She had sliced her arms to ribbons, but the badness remained, staining her insides like cancer. She had gouged her belly until it was a mess of meat and blood, but she still couldn't breathe." Missy survives, but only after a stint as one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Books We can Recommend for Young Adult Readers

BOOKS FOR YOUNG MEN:
Ship Breaker by Paolo Bacigalupi (2010)
This grueling post-apocalyptic National Book Award winner earns its scenes of menace and the odd expletive by believably conjuring a future in which people survive by scavenging materials from the rusting hulks of oil tankers. In a pitiless semi-civilization, one single act of decency launches a young man on a terrifying journey.
Peace by Richard Bausch (2009)
For older teens, a taut World War II novel set in 1944 that evokes the conflicting moral struggles of war. When a detachment of American GIs tramping through the Italian countryside discovers an escaping German soldier and a young woman hiding in the back of a cart, the resulting bloodshed—is it murder or self-defense?—sets off profound reverberations in the men's hearts.
Old School by Tobias Wolff (2004)
Set in a smart New England prep school in the 1960s, this story of a young man's search for authentic identity captures the mixture of longing and ambition that causes so many adolescents to try, if only for a time, to shape themselves along other people's lines. Here, the admired models are writers—Ernest Hemingway, Ayn Rand, Robert Frost—who visit the school and for whom the young protagonist contorts himself in painful and revealing ways.
Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury (1953)
A science-fiction classic that offers surprisingly mordant commentary on contemporary American life. In a society where rampant political correctness has resulted in the outlawing of books, Guy Montag works as a "fireman" tasked with destroying intellectual contraband. His wife spends her days immersed in the virtual reality projected on screens around her. When Guy accidentally reads a line from a book, he finds himself strangely stirred—and impelled to an act of recklessness that will change his life forever. Teenagers whose families are maddeningly glued to screens may find Guy's rebellion bracingly resonant.
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon (2003)
Told (with the occasional expletive) from the unreliable perspective of a high-functioning autistic teenager, this mystery recounts 15-year-old Christopher's effort to solve the killing of a neighborhood dog. When the boy himself falls under suspicion in the animal's death, his violent response propels him toward discoveries that will ultimately overturn his understanding of his own family.
True Grit by Charles Portis (1968)
The movie versions are fine, but they only approximate the drollery and tenderness of this tale of Wild West vengeance. Narrated in retrospect by a rawhide-tough woman named Mattie Ross, the novel recounts her girlhood quest to hunt down her father's killer in lawless Indian Territory, with the aid of dissolute U.S. Marshal Rooster Cogburn. The brilliance is all in the tone: Beneath Mattie's blunt manner lies a fierce intelligence and wagon-loads of grit. Girls will love this one, too.
BOOKS FOR YOUNG WOMEN:
What I Saw and How I Lied by Judy Blundell (2008)
The events swirling around 15-year-old Evie in this sophisticated National Book Award winner seem to her, in the blinkered way of teenagers, mainly the backdrop to her own sexual awakening. In a story involving deceitful parents, stolen Jewish treasure, a handsome ex-GI, adultery and murder, all set in louche, off-season Palm Beach, it is only when Evie must decide whether to lie—and whom to save—that it is apparent that she is no longer a child.
Ophelia by Lisa Klein (2006)
An inventive retelling of the story of Hamlet from the perspective of beautiful, bewildered Ophelia. In Shakespeare's play, we are meant to understand her as a love-struck medieval girl gone mad. Here she is an intelligent if impractical Elizabethan who, with the help of Queen Gertrude, secretly marries Prince Hamlet, fakes her own death and runs away with—well, that would be telling, wouldn't it?
Angelmonster by Veronica Bennett (2005)
This elegant novel introduces us to 16-year-old Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin, future author of "Frankenstein," shortly before she meets the dashing poet Percy Bysshe Shelley. The events that ensue seem as jolting today as they were to the couple's early 19th-century contemporaries: an adulterous escape from London to Europe, the births and deaths of two children, a sojourn in Italy with the "mad, bad, and dangerous to know" Lord Byron (which included a famous night of telling ghost stories), and Percy Shelley's tragic death at sea.
Z for Zachariah by Robert C. O'Brien (1973)
A post-apocalyptic novel for adolescents that is all the more frightening for its restraint. It has been a year since all-out nuclear war has left Ann Burden apparently the only girl in the radioactive remains of the United States; thanks to a quirk of geography, her family's farm (but not her family) survived the cataclysm. When she sees a column of distant smoke, Ann realizes that she is not alone, and soon she is nursing back to health a man who turns out not to be the person to play Adam to her Eve.
A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith (1943)
This vivid novel of early 20th-century Brooklyn is proof that mature material can be rendered with such subtle humanity that a younger teen can read it with as much enjoyment as a person many years older. I got my copy in a used bookstore when I was 11 and was so entranced by the story of book-loving Francie Nolan and her impoverished Irish-Catholic family—her beautiful mother, her handsome drunken father and various other misbehaving or censorious relatives—that I read it over and over throughout adolescence. Only years later did I grasp everything that happened between the adult characters. Isn't that what being a young reader, or indeed a teenager, is all about?
The argument in favor of such novels is that they validate the teen experience, giving voice to tortured adolescents who would otherwise be voiceless. If a teen has been abused, the logic follows, reading about another teen in the same straits will be comforting. If a girl cuts her flesh with a razor to relieve surging feelings of self-loathing, she will find succor in reading about another girl who cuts, mops up the blood with towels and eventually learns to manage her emotional turbulence without a knife.
Yet it is also possible—indeed, likely—that books focusing on pathologies help normalize them and, in the case of self-harm, may even spread their plausibility and likelihood to young people who might otherwise never have imagined such extreme measures. Self-destructive adolescent behaviors are observably infectious and have periods of vogue. That is not to discount the real suffering that some young people endure; it is an argument for taking care.
The novel "Scars," a dreadfully clunky 2010 exercise by Cheryl Rainfield that School Library Journal inexplicably called "one heck of a good book," ran into difficulties earlier this year at the Boone County Library in Kentucky, but not because of its contents. A patron complained that the book's depiction of cutting—the cover shows a horribly scarred forearm—might trigger a sufferer's relapse. That the protagonist's father has been raping her since she was a toddler and is trying to engineer her suicide was not the issue for the team of librarians re-evaluating the book.
"Books like 'Scars,' or with questionable material, those provide teachable moments for the family," says Amanda Hopper, the library's youth-services coordinator, adding: "We like to have the adult perspective, but we do try to target the teens because that's who's reading it." The book stayed on the shelves.
Perhaps the quickest way to grasp how much more lurid teen books have become is to compare two authors: the original Judy Blume and a younger writer recently hailed by Publishers Weekly as "this generation's Judy Blume."
The real Judy Blume won millions of readers (and the disapprobation of many adults) with then-daring novels such as 1970's "Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret," which deals with female puberty, 1971's "Then Again, Maybe I Won't," which addresses puberty from a boy's perspective, and 1975's "Forever," in which teenagers lose their virginity in scenes of earnest practicality. Objectionable the material may be for some parents, but it's not grotesque.
By contrast, the latest novel by "this generation's Judy Blume," otherwise known as Lauren Myracle, takes place in a small Southern town in the aftermath of an assault on a gay teenager. The boy has been savagely beaten and left tied up with a gas pump nozzle shoved down his throat, and he may not live. The protagonist of "Shine," a 16-year-old girl and once a close friend of the victim, is herself yet to recover from a sexual assault in eighth grade; assorted locals, meanwhile, reveal themselves to be in the grip of homophobia, booze and crystal meth. Determined in the face of police indifference to investigate the attack on her friend, the girl relives her own assault (thus taking readers through it, too) and acquaints us with the concept of "bag fags," heterosexuals who engage in gay sex for drugs. The author makes free with language that can't be reprinted in a newspaper.
In the book business, none of this is controversial, and, to be fair, Ms. Myracle's work is not unusually profane. Foul language is widely regarded among librarians, reviewers and booksellers as perfectly OK, provided that it emerges organically from the characters and the setting rather than being tacked on for sensation. In Ms. Myracle's case, with her depiction of redneck bigots with meth-addled sensibilities, the language is probably apt.
But whether it's language that parents want their children reading is another question. Alas, literary culture is not sympathetic to adults who object either to the words or storylines in young-adult books. In a letter excerpted by the industry magazine, the Horn Book, several years ago, an editor bemoaned the need, in order to get the book into schools, to strip expletives from Chris Lynch's 2005 novel, "Inexcusable," which revolves around a thuggish jock and the rape he commits. "I don't, as a rule, like to do this on young adult books," the editor grumbled, "I don't want to compromise on how kids really talk. I don't want to acknowledge those f—ing gatekeepers."
By f—ing gatekeepers (the letter-writing editor spelled it out), she meant those who think it's appropriate to guide what young people read. In the book trade, this is known as "banning." In the parenting trade, however, we call this "judgment" or "taste." It is a dereliction of duty not to make distinctions in every other aspect of a young person's life between more and less desirable options. Yet let a gatekeeper object to a book and the industry pulls up its petticoats and shrieks "censorship!"
It is of course understood to be an act of literary heroism to stand against any constraints, no matter the age of one's readers; Ms. Myracle's editor told Publishers Weekly that the author "has been on the front lines in the fight for freedom of expression."
Every year the American Library Association delights in releasing a list of the most frequently challenged books. A number of young-adult books made the Top 10 in 2010, including Suzanne Collins's hyper-violent, best-selling "Hunger Games" trilogy and Sherman Alexie's prize-winning novel, "The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian." "It almost makes me happy to hear books still have that kind of power," Mr. Alexie was quoted saying; "There's nothing in my book that even compares to what kids can find on the Internet."
Oh, well, that's all right then. Except that it isn't. It is no comment on Mr. Alexie's work to say that one depravity does not justify another. If young people are encountering ghastly things on the Internet, that's a failure of the adults around them, not an excuse for more envelope-pushing.
Veteran children's bookseller Jewell Stoddard traces part of the problem to aesthetic coarseness in some younger publishers, editors and writers who, she says, "are used to videogames and TV and really violent movies and they love that stuff. So they think that every 12-year-old is going to love that stuff and not be affected by it. And I don't think that's possible."
In an effort to keep the most grueling material out of the hands of younger readers, Ms. Stoddard and her colleagues at Politics & Prose, an independent Washington, D.C., bookstore, created a special "PG-15" nook for older teens. With some unease, she admits that creating a separate section may inadvertently lure the attention of younger children keen to seem older than they are.
At the same time, she notes that many teenagers do not read young-adult books at all. Near the end of the school year, when she and a colleague entertained students from a nearby private school, only three of the visiting 18 juniors said that they read YA books.
So it may be that the book industry's ever-more-appalling offerings for adolescent readers spring from a desperate desire to keep books relevant for the young. Still, everyone does not share the same objectives. The book business exists to sell books; parents exist to rear children, and oughtn't be daunted by cries of censorship. No family is obliged to acquiesce when publishers use the vehicle of fundamental free-expression principles to try to bulldoze coarseness or misery into their children's lives.
—Mrs. Gurdon writes regularly about children's books for the Journal.