Instagram – Is It Okay for Kids? What Parents Need to Know

In many ways, and without reinventing the wheel, Instagram is changing the way people share photos with each other. The mobile app is steadily growing in popularity among the kid and teen crowds, causing parents to take notice and ask, what exactly is Instagram, and is there anything I should be worried about?
Just like with any social sharing application, there are a few things parents need to know about Instagram and how their teen may be using it, so the Yoursphere for Parents editorial team did the research. But first, what is Instagram?

What Is Instagram?
Instagram is a photo sharing mobile app that’s (currently) only available on the iPhone and iPod Touch. Users can either upload a photo from their device’s library or take a photo right then and there and use Instagram to change the way the photo looks.



 

The user then has the option to simultaneously upload this photo to a number of social networks, including Facebook, Twitter, Flickr and Foursquare, depending on which ones they sync to their Instagram account. The photo will also be uploaded to the Instagram community where people can like and comment on it.
In many ways, Instagram is a photo-sharing social network on its own. Users have a profile with the option to fill out information such as first and last name, username, birthday, gender, bio, email address and phone number. Popular photos from all over the world are shared under the “Popular” tab, and every user has the option to follow other Instagram users and vice versa.
The idea behind Instagram is simple, really. And they execute it so beautifully. But just like with any social sharing application, there are some privacy and concerning content issues that can ruin the Instagram experience for a family with kids and younger teens.

What Parents Need To Know
Privacy
The only information required when signing up for Instagram is an email address and desired username. Though they ask for a phone number, it’s very clear during sign up that this is optional, so please consider your privacy or your teen’s privacy before entering a phone number here.
The single most important thing to realize is that, by default, anyone can view the photos that you upload to Instagram. In other words, your profile and your photos are publicly viewable unless you tell it otherwise. If you only want your followers to see your photos, then you need to set your profile to private by following these steps:

1. Go to your profile page (tap the Profile tab)
2. Scroll down to the bottom of the Profile page, where you’ll see a “Photos are private” switch
3. Toggle the “Photos are private” switch to ON to turn on privacy.

Once you set your profile to private, anyone who wants to see your photos will need to be your friend/follower first, meaning they’ll have to send a request and you’ll have to approve.

Geotagging
During the process of uploading a photo, the geo-location data of the photo you’re uploading can easily be shared with your followers if you’re not careful. Fortunately, Instagram turns geotagging off by default, but it’s easy to accidently turn it on.
When uploading a photo, be sure to avoid tapping the button shown in this screenshot. If you do, you can always tap it again to turn it off. This is just something to be aware of as geotagging is a huge risk to you and your teen’s privacy online. You can learn more about how geotagging works, here.

Age-Appropriateness
Instagram is not for children under the age of 13, and in my opinion, not suitable for slightly older teens. If you’re 12 years old, there isn’t even a 1999 year to choose when signing up. Instagram has strict Terms of Use and Community Guidelines that make their age requirement clear. Also, there’s an obvious connection between Instagram and other adult-intended social networks like Facebook and Twitter.

Blocking and Reporting Users and Content
While there are tools for reporting/blocking users and inappropriate content, know that people will, and do upload nude photos. In fact, the editorial team found a multitude of bestiality photos in less than one minute when searching for friends. It’s a sad fact, and another commonsense reason that you shouldn’t allow your children to use Instagram. If you are an Instagram user, they provide easy-to-use tools to block or report someone. The steps below show you how:
Blocking a user –

1. Navigate to their profile page (tap Profile > Search Instagram > Names and usernames, then search for and tap on their username).
2. Tap the button in the top right corner of the screen (gear icon).
3. Tap “Block user” to prevent the user from viewing your account.

 

The same steps can be followed to report a user, in addition to giving a reason why you’re reporting them.

Reporting a photo –

1. Tap the “…” below the photo you would like to report and then “Flag for review”
2. Select the proper reason for reporting from the list and, if prompted, a short description.

NOTE: All flags are anonymous and go directly to Instagram.
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So, parents, do you use Instagram? Does your teen? If so, have you or they encountered any privacy, bullying or content issues like we did?  As I said at the outset, Instagram does a simple and fantastic job of letting us do some very fun and creative things with our photos. Frankly, in my opinion, it’s a shame that others ruin what should be enjoyed by you and your family.
Please share your thoughts in the comments below. And remember, there are plenty of apps out there, just like there are plenty of social networks out there that were made FOR your children, and with their privacy in mind. And though it’s a wonderful app that enhances the way we share photos, Instagram is not one of them.

Responsible Text Messaging Tips

Texting is the #2 use of cell phones -- after checking the time.

Teens send an average of 3,146 texts per month, and kids ages 9 to 12 send 1,146 (Nielsen, 2010).

75% of 12 to 17 year olds own cell phones and 88% of them use text messaging (Pew, 2010).

64% of parents look at the contents of their child’s cell phone and 62% of parents have taken away their child’s phone as punishment. (Pew, 2010).

43% of teens who take their phones to school say they text in class at least once a day (Pew, 2010).

Texting is becoming the #1 form of communication
If you’ve ever stared in awe at your child’s thumbs moving furiously over her phone’s keyboard, you’ve probably wondered how she does it so quickly, and why it’s her favorite form of communication. Kids text because it lets them feel connected and feel as if they can have a private moment with a friend, no matter where they are or what else they’re doing.

Billions of text messages are sent every year from our kids’ mobile phones. While most kids use messaging responsibly, it’s still a powerful and extremely private communication tool that can be used irresponsibly. With texting, kids can’t see the reaction of the person receiving the message, so their actions can be separated from the consequences. Young people can be cruel, and their judgment and impulse control are not yet fully developed. If a text exchange becomes unpleasant, it can be very hurtful or even dangerous to their well being.


Why understanding texting matters
Texting is totally portable, private, and immediate. Kids can send messages to anyone from anywhere at anytime. In other words, they have no boundaries unless we help them to establish some. Almost no research has been done on the impact of immediate communication on kids’ social development.



But the instant gratification factor of getting immediate responses from friends has to have some affect. Any parent who has been at the dinner table or on a hike with a child only to hear a pocket buzz with an incoming message knows that texts take your kids out of the moment they are in and connect them to distant friends.

Texts can be used to keep friends close, help parents figure out family logistics, and offer a wonderful way to share experiences. But, as with any powerful tool, texting can also be used to bully or humiliate people. An embarrassing or upsetting image or video can quickly be transmitted or uploaded to an online video sharing site like YouTube. Sexting is a form of texting where kids send or receive graphic images or messages. According to a study from CosmoGirl, 22% of teen girls have sent or posted these kinds of images. And, sadly, the use of texting in school cheating is on the rise as answers can be swiftly passed from student to student.

Kids need to know that abusing the privilege of texting has consequences.


Advice for parents
Carefully evaluate whether or not your kids need texting on their cell phones. Just because other kids in their class have it doesn’t mean your child needs it.
If your kids do text, get an unlimited texting plan. Otherwise the charges mount up swiftly.
Make rules around when and where. No texting during meals, during class, on family outings. Oh, and turn the phone OFF at night!
No texting while they should be concentrating on something else. This includes driving –nearly half of teens admit to texting while driving – walking, and having a conversation with someone else. Firm rules about this will ensure their safety as well as their social skills.
Establish consequences for misuse. Cheating, inappropriate messages, sexual communication. These are all no-go’s. Want to make your point? Take your kid’s phone away for a week.
Watch your own behavior. Parents are still models for their kids. If you text your child during class and then turn around and tell that child that he or she can’t do that, you’re sending mixed signals.
If you suspect your kids aren’t texting appropriately, you can always look at their messages. Yes, it feels like snooping, but our first job as parents is to ensure that our kids use powerful technologies safely and responsibly.

-Common Sense Media

Top 10 Radio Airplay (And my summary of the song)

 Music is a very large part of the lives of most teens, and often is a key factor in their self-identification. This is a small view of the current songs on the radio right now. Do you notice a trend here? Never underestimate the power of music to mold and shape your teen. Take the time to understand the themes and messages.

1. Pitbull - Give Me Everything ...(A song about having sex now because you never know when its your last day)
2. Adele - Rolling In The Deep... (A broken-heart lost love song)
3.  Lady Gaga - The Edge of Glory... (Another song about having sex impulsively)
4. LMFAO - Party Rock Anthem.... (Party club song)
5. Katy Perry - Last Friday Night... (A song about drinking so much that she can not remember what happened last night or who the guy is in her bed. She would do it again however.)
6. Katy Perry - E.T. ....(This is a song about a guy that all her friends say is bad, but she wants to be his victim)
7. Lupe Fiasco - The Show Goes On.... (A song about not giving up and reaching for your dreams)
8. Black Eyed Peas - Just Can't Get Enough... (A song about how she is addicted to this guy and thinks lust equals love)
9. Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song.... (The song title says it all)
10. Jason Derulo - Don't Wanna Go Home..... (A song about drinking and partying even after the club closes down)

Art Bragg

The Unstuck Group

Nearly Half of U.S. Teens Smoke, Drink Alcohol, or Use Drugs

New Report Calls Teen Substance Abuse America’s No. 1 Public Health Problem

 

 

Nearly half of all American high school students smoke, drink alcohol, or use illicit drugs, according to a new report. And one in four who started using these substances before they turned 18 may become addicts. One-quarter of people in the U.S. who began using drugs or alcohol before age 18 meet the criteria for drug or alcohol addiction, compared with one of 25 Americans who started using drugs or alcohol when they were 21 or older, according to the report by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University in New York City.

“I was surprised at the prevalence of substance use disorders among young people,” says study author Susan E. Foster, CASA’s vice president and director of policy research and analysis. The new study opens a window of opportunity for providers and parents to intervene and prevent addiction, she says.
“Do everything you can to get young people through their teen years without using drugs or alcohol,” she says. “Every year they don’t use drugs or alcohol reduces their risk of negative consequences, such as addiction.”
According to information cited in the new report:

• Ten million or 75% of high school students have tried tobacco, alcohol, marijuana, or cocaine; and one in five of them meet the medical criteria for addiction.
• Of the 6.1 million or 46% of high school students who currently use addictive substances, one in three is addicted to these substances.
• The most common drug of choice among high school students in the U.S. is alcohol, followed by cigarettes and marijuana.

The findings are based on surveys of 1,000 high school students, 1,000 parents of high school students, and 500 school officers, along with expert interviews, focus groups, a literature review of 2,000 scientific articles, and an analysis of seven data sets.

No. 1 Public Health Problem

“Health care providers need to integrate screening for substance abuse into their practice, and treat and refer patients,” Foster says. This may be easier said than done because there is a dearth of addiction treatment information and options available as well as insurance barriers, she says.
Parents need to know what their teens are up to and who they spend time with, she says.
Modeling good behavior is also important, Foster says. “Make sure they know that it doesn’t take a drink or drug to relax,” she says. And “if you do suspect there is a problem, get help fast because it won’t go away, and will probably exacerbate fast.”

Substance Abuse Not a Rite of Passage

“Teen substance abuse is a huge problem,” says Stephen Grcevich, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Family Center by the fall in Chagrin Falls, Ohio. “The numbers in the new report are very consistent with what we see in context of our practice and surrounding areas.”
But teen substance abuse and addiction are not inevitable, he says. Preventing substance abuse starts with “intentional parenting” at an early age.“You have to have a plan that allows you to be a positive influence on your children at a young age so that when they get to an age where they are exposed to drugs and alcohol, they will know how to say no,” he says. “Kids who do well academically, are involved in religion, and/or are actively engaged in sports are less likely to get involved with these substances,” he says. “We need to look at giving kids something meaningful and important to do.”
The new findings mirror what Harold C. Urschel, MD, an addiction expert in Dallas, sees in practice “without question.” He says that “we know that if you wait to drink alcohol until you are 21, you are 40% less likely to become addicted than if you drink alcohol at age 15,” he says.
From the age of 15 to 22, the adolescent brain is developing, Urschel says. “A complex layer of neural networks is being laid down and brain growth is exponential during these years, so even a little bit of injury from alcohol or drugs is greatly magnified,” he says.
Drinking alcohol or using drugs is not harmless fun or a rite of passage, he says.


By Denise Mann
WebMD Health News

Common Divorce Effects on Teens

When parents go through a divorce, it's no surprise that their children suffer through it as well. The drastic change, the loss of a sense of stability, the thought that their family is breaking apart can take a toll on children and teens. Parents take for granted that their older children should be adjusting better to the divorce than younger siblings.

The truth is that teens whose parents go through a divorce often struggle with feelings of betrayal, anger and guilt. Children with divorced parents often have the uncanny ability to blame themselves for their parents' split, even if they can't explain why. Teens are also often more susceptible to be disillusioned with the hope that their parents will change their minds or maybe someday get back together. This makes it more difficult for them to accept when their fantasy doesn't happen.

Teens divorce effects can vary widely. Here are the most common effect divorce on teens:

1. Anger - Many teens already go through periods of mood swings. Add divorce to the equation and you have a more volatile teenager on your hands. Teens who are having a hard time accepting or dealing with their parents' divorce often become defiant, they act out, lash out in anger at their parents, or engage in dangerous activities.

2. Drop in grades - Some teens lose their interest in studying or find themselves less motivated and more distracted than usual. Some teens have a harder time in school than before, some even lose interest in afterschool activities like sports or clubs that they used to love attending. However, parents shouldn't always assume that when their teens' grades are up, this means that they are adjusting well to the divorce.

3. Overcompensating - Some teens who are battling with guilty feelings think that if they just get their grades up or if they become "better sons/daughters", their parents would stay together. They overcompensate by getting better grades, working harder at home, participating in more afterschool programs and getting more recognition in the process. Teens who believe that their efforts would make their family and home life more desirable to their parents often end up extremely disappointed when their parents push through with the divorce.

4. Substance abuse - Many teens turn to substance abuse to deal with the emotional pain. In fact, many teens who try drugs end up using excessively and overdosing because they're trying to use the drugs to deaden an emotional pain. The same goes for alcohol. Young people tend to drink excessively in order to shut out the emotional pain they are feeling over the divorce of their parents. Sometimes teens hide their substance abuse from their parents, sometimes they don't bother to hide it in the hopes that it would encourage their parents to stay together and stop the damage being done to their teen by their separation.
It's important for parents to realize when they need to seek professional help in cases like this. Sometimes the efforts of well-meaning parents are not enough to help teens deal with the aftermath of divorce. It would help to keep your eyes open for these effects and similar symptoms in order to address the issue the soonest time possible and in the most effective and healthy way.

Breaking Those Bad Habits.

Let's face it, parents play a major role in their teens' behavior and have the ability to be both loving and firm as they establish guidelines for safe and respectful living. Have you ever heard the saying by Zig Ziglar "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want" I think the same thing can be said about the relationship you want with your teen.   Here are few things parents can do to help teens break their bad habits and help guide the teens into being the person you want them to be.


1. Set clear boundaries.
Establish clear boundaries that cannot be crossed and then stick to them. If you tell your teen that she will be punished if she breaks her curfew, be sure to live up to it.

2. Plug into your teen's life.
Be aware of who your teenager is hanging out with, monitor her progress in school, and notice any changes in her behavior that could be related to drug or alcohol use.

3. Negotiate.
Sit down with your teen and negotiate a set of rules and regulations that are realistic and that you can both live up to. Enlist the help of a third party if necessary.

4. Discuss, don't scream.
Aggressive behavior is easy to tune out. Speak to your teen like he's an adult and he may act like one.

5. Forget "cool."
Your job as a parent is not to be a cool friend, but to set up boundaries in which your teen can comfortably grow.

6. Focus on positive behavior.
Being a troubled teen is not a lifetime sentence. When your teen makes the effort to break a negative pattern of behavior, be sure to acknowledge the change by giving him more freedom and showing him that it is possible to rebuild trust. This positive reinforcement will encourage him to keep up the good work.

It's 10 o'clock, Do you know where your teens are?

This is a great article about keeping track of your teens during the summer. Some parents do not want to feel like the are "stalking" their teens, but shouldn't we be?

by :Richard Rende Ph.D

As summer approaches, teens will have more free time, less structure in their schedule and, possibly, more social opportunities. While all this sounds fun, the reality is that parents face a challenge in making sure their kids stay safe and out of (serious) trouble. 

Researchers have consistently found three aspects of parenting that are critically important when parenting teens. These include:

Monitoring

This first principle involves more than trying to keep tabs on your kid's whereabouts. Monitoring refers to having in-depth knowledge of:

• where your teen is;
• who they are with;
• what they are doing.

Let's take an example. Suppose a teen tells a mom that she will be "hanging out at the mall with some friends." It can be said that the mom consequently knows where her daughter will be (at the mall), whom she will be with (some friends, and what they will be doing (hanging out).

However, this is not what we mean by monitoring. The daughter could be intending to meet up with her two best friends, getting something to eat in the food court and looking in some of her favorite stores. It could also mean hanging out in a car in a parking lot with some kids she recently met including someone who has a six-pack of beer.

The key to monitoring is having real knowledge about what's really going on in a teen's life. One advantage of modern technology is that teens who have phones can be expected to respond to periodic calls or have designated "check-in" times. In this way, monitoring can happen in real time (and not just before and after a teen leaves the house).

Limit setting

This second principle refers to having rules that set appropriate boundaries for teens that are truly enforced (and have consequences tied to violations of the rules).

Using the example presented above, the mom may have a rule that says "you can't drink" and a related one that says "if other kids are drinking you need to get away from them." These rules are concrete and also acknowledge that while there are things that happen that aren't under the teen's control (it may happen that she and her friends run into other friends, some of whom are drinking), the teen has options about how to respond appropriately.

And it's important that if the rules are broken, some form of contingency is there (if you hang out with kids who drink, you cannot go out for two weeks). The challenge here is to be flexible and realistic and work with your teen to set reasonable rules that allow some freedom along with protection against dangerous behavior and situations.

Communication

Monitoring and limit setting depend on solid communication between a parent and a teen. Although it can be a fine line, you want to stay in control of the boundaries of your teen's behavior while promoting a sense of open dialogue. For example, limit setting doesn't work if a teen is not comfortable enough to tell the parent the truth. One important thing to try to accomplish is to let your teen know that you are monitoring and setting limits to help them enjoy their life without finding themselves in situations that would make them uncomfortable or pose dangers.

Being open and having frank talks about risky behaviors — and their consequences — provides a platform of trust and allows a teen to feel comfortable talking to you about his or her life. Being a strict disciplinarian or a "buddy" does not achieve this.

Your teen will undoubtedly face some tricky situations where emotions are running high. You have to have a real partnership with them so that you both can discuss their social world — and yet have an understanding that you will be monitoring their behavior and setting limits so that they can stay safe and healthy.

Parenting a teen can be a difficult thing. Embracing these three principles may not only help your teen navigate the challenges that arise in their life outside your home, but also help both of you maintain a good and productive relationship through the teen years.

Richard Rende, Ph.D., lives in Dartmouth. He is a developmental psychologist and research professor at the Alpert Medical School of Brown University. His research program focuses on family influences on the development of behavior problems in childhood, adolescence and the transition to adulthood. The opinions expressed in this column are his and his alone. Contact him at richardrendephd@gmail.com.